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dToday, at the hardware store I searched longingly for the right hammer. Not too heavy. Not too large. Just the right heft. Just the right balance. Even the color is important. If I am going to bash your head in with it, i should take care I don’t hurt myself. And that I look good doing it.


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The holidays passed and you’re still here. Breathing my air.  Next year I’ll have to  to double the amount of strychnine I put in your eggnog.